Public Domain Philosopher Gifts

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Men gossiping

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

ONE HORSE TOWN

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

Brickie's Mate

If bar stools were like playground swings...

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Body by Jake

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.