Puberty Strife Gifts

"Now that I've quit hating girls, I 've got pimples."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

'More hair than brains.'

When life gives you lemons...

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

Sex Education

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

Whatever!

"How can you say my hat is on back to front when you don't know which way I'm going to go?"

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

"Oh come now, darling. When I was your age, I felt different, too."

My dad's doing flowers for a huge sweet 16 party. Everyone's invited except me! Who cares? It's probably some loser who couldn't get anyone to come over without going over the top. Thanks, Em! You know what's important. Plus! We'll figure out whose party it is and crash it! You're my spiritual guide.

Suddenly...puberty hit Irwin!

Mom! I need summer clothes. You've got tons from last year. Fashion hasn't changed that much. Ahem. But you clearly have! Can we go now?

Gotta babysit. Too bad! Tap tap. The worst part is the first! Subduing little monsters? Tap tap. No

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Young man, either you remove your hand from under her sweater or I will remove it your arm.'

"Shaving off your three whiskers doesn't make you older!"

Winnie Hits Pooberty

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

"Look, Tia Carmen, my moustache is growing in!"

"Can Hilary come out to abstain from having sex?"

"Well, if not now, can I have a man cave after I reach puberty?"

"You're a helium balloon, son. Your voice won't change after puberty."

His voice is changing.

"Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be?" "Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person." "If you think 'being you' includes being dirty, that means you're a dirty, slovenly filth-beast..." "...who will end up alone and miserable because no liv

"Ask Sadie advice hour! What's your problem?!" "Being a high school student is literally killing me! I sit all day at school, and sit all evening doing my homework." "Stop yer sniveling!!! Every student since the beginning of time has had to deal with this problem." "Yes, you're sitting all day. But like any other teenager, you should be burning thousands of calories anyway." "The eye-rolling alone should burn up to 473 calories per hour. Pick up the pace, slacker!!!"

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

Man having difficulty shaving

"You have to learn to stand on your own two feet."