Puberty Professional Gifts

'Teenagers are a big source of anxiety for their guardians.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"The old tricks, young fellow, have served me well."

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

Toys in the DVD Player.

"Ah...here they are!"

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

The modern generation!

Office Park

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

Young Doctor, Young Nurse, Young Undertaker

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'