Pub Talk Pillows

"Let's go bowling and keep on bowling until the people who regulate bowling say it isn't bowling any more!"

'I know you live a life of quiet desperation -- you never shut up about it!'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

'I know it's gassy...'

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Beer Stall

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"Another flue shot, Larry.

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

Redhead

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

Quiz Night...

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

Next Round Indicator

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

"Walking to the pub takes me 5 minutes, but 20 minutes to walk home." "The difference is staggering."