Pub Conversation Enjoyer Pillows

"What's the big deal? I lopped off my own damn penis years ago."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I know it's gassy...'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

City Boy.

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Men's fragrances...

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

Professional woman in pub

JOE'S 'COME ON - YOU KNOW YOU REALLY WANT IT' BAR.

"My world is Tribeca, lars, and yours is a different world."

Drunken singers in a public house

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

The Reaper's Arms

"My wife is trying to stop me doing my flamingo impression." "You must put your foot down! "

"Your shout!"

'Do not stand while the room is in motion.'

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

'It's your round.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

"Not quite what I meant when I said your presentation should include a bar chart."

"Excuse me - could you direct me to a grass verge..?"

'It was a lot more congenial when we had happy hour.'

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"I feel a draft."

Let's have the cod. It'll be extinct soon.