Pub Pro Gifts

"I've starched your trousers, so you can't fall over when you come out of the pub."

'Oh well, never let it be said you can't handle your booze!'

"Ladies and gentlemen...closing time. Or should Just say 'last call'?"

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

'No ice.'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"I think we may be related!"

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

City Boy.

'I know it's gassy...'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Men's fragrances...

"I forget to drink."

'I like you, you've got balls.'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Barman In Love.

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Surreal ale

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

'You can't come in here with that.'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"Just water for me, please."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"