Pub Pro T-Shirts

"I've starched your trousers, so you can't fall over when you come out of the pub."

'Oh well, never let it be said you can't handle your booze!'

"Ladies and gentlemen...closing time. Or should Just say 'last call'?"

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'No ice.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

City Boy.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Best Before 5th Pint.

"I think we may be related!"

'I know it's gassy...'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Have you seen my dad?"

Men's fragrances...

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"I forget to drink."

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Redhead

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

'The Saxon King' pub

'You can't come in here with that.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

Barman In Love.