Pub Joker Gifts

'I was once teetotal, it was the worst two hours of my life!'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

"That's the deep end."

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

"I'm sorry, but I assumed it was a fancy dress costume..."

"So you used to be in a darts team?"

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

"Never mind about star signs what blood group are you"

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

"Allow me to introduce my wife - she's been giving me the silent treatment since 1982."

"Any other strengths?"

'Don't worry...that's our mascot'

"I was at a party and got some avocado dip in my eye..."

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

"You can see why this is my favourite pub for darts!"

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

STRIP *The Fan * Player Transfers

"A tax inspector dies and ends up in hell.... Than't's the funniest joke I've heard all night."

"To be fair - he DID say he was going to rearrange your face...!"

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

'That perfume you're wearing smells funny. I love it!'

"I'm no doctor, but it looks like the poor guy's got coronavirus."

Kev's initial excitement as the club's new Sweeper suddenly dwindled.

'I see by your resume that you are my son. If this checks out, the job is yours.'

Pirate and His Peg Legs.

"Let's go have some fun."

I'm worried about our accountant...he's so scruffy!

How To Saint . . .