Pub Conversationalist Gifts

'Sure, pal, I can crack a fifty.'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'Read any good Apps lately?'

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

Pie chart of pub conversations

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

"Mother, you were right."

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"All the good ones are neutered."

"Paved in gold? Oh my, no. With out crumbling infrastructure we're doing well if the streets are paved at all."

'Better get back to business and take your mind off golf for a change.'

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

'What a twist of fate!'

"We're still negotiating. I want a six-figure starting salary and they don't want to hire me."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

'I didn't get the settlement I was hoping for...turns out I'd already spent most of his money while we were married.'

'Hello! I don't believe I've bored you yet...'

"I've stopped looking for work, which, I believe, helps the economic numbers."

'We're rich! We're rich! My mum's got goldstones!'

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'

'I take after my Daddy - He's a confirmed batchelor!'

"I've had a few days to calm down and process things and I've come to the realization that I was wrong to have had faith in humanity."

'Great lunch box.'