Psychoanalysts T-Shirts

'I get better results with a live elephant and an invisible fence.'

"What makes you think Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and all that bunch are so happy?"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Lynching on social media

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

Fear/Knowledge

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

America, are we learning anything?

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Thinking Gears

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'