Psychoanalysts Gifts

'I get better results with a live elephant and an invisible fence.'

Pink Freud

"What makes you think Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and all that bunch are so happy?"

Lynching on social media

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Support the Ex-Troops

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Fear/Knowledge

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

America, are we learning anything?

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Thinking Gears

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."