Personality Analyst Gifts

If you were an iceberg...

"You are fair, compassionate, and intelligent, but you are perceived as biased, callous, and dumb."

"I'm overbearing, conceited and obsessed with status."

"Sooooooo.........Brian, you think you're good enough for the Humility Club."

H. J. Eysenck

'The boss actually looked warm and fuzzy getting on the bus...but it was just steam from the manhole cover.'

'Beneath her cold, hard exterior, is a cold hard interior.'

How many pessimists does it take to light one little candle? Pessimists cannot doe it. Only optimists can light one little candle.

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Sigmund Freud.

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"He gets easily abstracted."

Psychobabbling brook.

Agricultural Psychology

A Freudian slip...

"Doc, you'll be glad to know I'm comfortable in my own skin today. I shed my old in the reception room."

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

"...but this is the stuff of dreams Mr Whitley! Dreams."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'I hate to say this but no amount of analysis is going to help; you need a better cartoonist.'

"I don't get it. I got a job at a fulfillment center and yet I'm still miserable!"

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

Mister Oedipus.

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

Jacques Lacan

'Shh, wait! -- I'm getting an astral message from Sigmund Freud!'

'...And how long have you been having these hallucinations that you're seeing a psychiatrist?'

"Doctor, your client with the multiple personality disorder, is on lines one, two, three and four."

Post-psychoanalysis