Online Persona Analyst Gifts

'But... your Facebook profile says you're a vegetarian!'

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

'Something that'll get me googled,'

If you were an iceberg...

"I'm overbearing, conceited and obsessed with status."

H. J. Eysenck

"Of course I have an imaginary alter-ego. You'll find it on Facebook."

Weapons of Mass Comparison

'I'm making sure my self-inflated Wikipedia entry corresponds to my self-inflated Facebook profile.'

"You're under arrest for consumer Freud."

Kiss me quik dating service

"Well, if you can't accept me as I really am, have you seen my Facebook page?"

"I keep changing my profile picture."

'Talk about snooty. She was listed as 'most likely to be googled' in the class yearbook.'

Panache shoots down Charisma.

'You look exactly like your tweets.'

"This isn't going to look good on my website."

'According to your social network activities, you're a man-mad, boozy little hussy. You can start working here tomorrow.'

'Sometimes she's like a wave, sometimes she's like a particle.'

Online vs. Offline Behaviour

A figure carries different masks off into the distance.

'Not the 'Grizzlydog2576'? I love your posts!'

"That guy isn't really famous...just Google famous."

'I don't need therapy, but my alter ego on Facebook really has some issues!'

You're broadcasting messages of your moment-to-moment experiences?! It's called tweeting. All my followers get updated on what I'm doing. Why? How @#$% narcissistic. Who cares if you're getting hit with a handbag? What? Rudy's getting hit with a handbag. Snooze. Litterbox.

How many pessimists does it take to light one little candle? Pessimists cannot doe it. Only optimists can light one little candle.

'Beneath her cold, hard exterior, is a cold hard interior.'

"You are fair, compassionate, and intelligent, but you are perceived as biased, callous, and dumb."

"You appear to be more interesting on you website, than you actually are"

"....and please make my life as interesting as I make it look in Facebook."

"Sooooooo.........Brian, you think you're good enough for the Humility Club."