Psychoanalyst T-Shirts

"Actually, these aren't bad times to be delusional."

"You ever have flying dreams?"

Whacha Thinking About?

"These feelings of inadequacy are common among the inadequate."

"Wow! You need professional help."

"Why do I feel so angry about feeling guilty about feeling embarrassed about feeling scared?"

"Now, we can get all those repressed memories the easy way or the hard way."

'I think I'm introverted. Because the fake conversations I have in my head with people are so much better than real conversations.'

Freud at a crossroads: 'Psychoanalysis should relieve stress and anxiety...but so does looking at fish.'

Narcissus takes a rorschach test.

The Unpublished Freud

'Offhand, I'd say your problem stems from a deep-seated edifice complex.'

"I utilize the best from Freud, the best from Jung and the best from my uncle Marty, a very smart fellow."

"Then I realised, I was just a child substitute."

"There are times when I desperately need someone to lean on."

"I wouldn't call you crazy. But only because nobody uses that word anymore."

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

Freudian Slip

Psychologist Birthdays

"So you feel you're being pulled in different directions, stretched too thin, and wound too tightly? Talk to me about that."

'The analyst is NOT there to fulfill your neurotic desires.'

"When you have all the answers, what's left?"

"Tell me about your fear of policemen."

"How does this make you feel?"

Desk bins: 'Misc. feelings to sort out,' 'Guilt and shame to process,' and 'Vague, unresolved yearnings to deal with.'

'I never heard anything like that before. What does it mean?'

'Oops, actually, this is a cockroach I squashed the other day.'

"And well, one thing just led to a mother...I mean 'another'..."

"Of course the whole world doesn't hate you...."

Take The Guesswork Out Of Your Diagnoses!

'Shh, wait! -- I'm getting an astral message from Sigmund Freud!'

Mister Oedipus.

'...And how long have you been having these hallucinations that you're seeing a psychiatrist?'

Man in Analysis

"Why don't you let me be the judge of what is or isn't normal."