Psychic Reading Gifts

"Out today due to foreseen circumstances."

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

Big Medium

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

'This card tells me you're a gullible young woman.' 'You're good! That's exactly what I am.'

'Hang on, I'll just go and get my wide-screen crystal ball.'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

The Environmentalist

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"Why bother?"

Asking out a palm reader.

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Quantum Psychic

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"You're solemates!"

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Channelling on the Cheap

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

Pie Filling Reader

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.