Psychic Research Gifts

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

The Environmentalist

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Why bother?"

Asking out a palm reader.

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Quantum Psychic

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"You're solemates!"

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Channelling on the Cheap

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Pie Filling Reader

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"It will be all your fault."

"Did you have a cat?"

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!