Proud Housekeepers Gifts

Clean House

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"I didn't spark joy."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"I had to skip my workout."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Bathroom Fairy

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

Cook and her Maids

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

The household cavalry

TV and cleaner

Housewife: Out of Order.

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'You only said to bring home a feather duster. You never said what kind.'

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'