Protein Seeker Gifts

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

"I just eat one of these and I don't have to munch grass for ten hours?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"Pick me!"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'He lives for his holidays.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

Booster shots

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

Clownfish entertain sea life by hitting each other in the face with octopi.

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

If you're happy and you know it...

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

The search for Bigfoot continues for a group of women who know that if his feet are THAT big...

Pesky students.

Too much monkey business...

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

"Who's ready to see what's going to happen in the fourth quarter?"

He likes to make work fun

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

"Call me!"

'Just look at him- a fool and his money are soon partying!'

"You used to be a lot more fun."