Property Market Critic Gifts

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'I'm hoping to have the finances in place, to move into a cardboard box soon.'

Boom & Bust.

Affordable housing

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

House hunting is cruel.

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

Shoe house.

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

'My expedition confirmed what we already suspected: Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered by water, and the rest by real estate!'

Real Estate Life

Real Estate Crispy Flakes: Location/Location/ Location

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

Battery Farm Housing

'Look, they're slowing down.'

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

'We finally got a response to our House For Sale sign. The wind blew it down.'

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

'It's got all the original features.'

'I came up here because the meaning of life is location, location, location.'

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'