Real Estate Critic Gifts

Vulture

Vulture

'I see this one is detached. Yes, the ones on either side fell down.'

"The rent on this little beauty is only two grand a month - plus, a service charge. . ."

Property Management (Scam) Company

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

The stages of gentrification: a guide

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

Emigrating to France.

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

America's funniest investment scams