Real Estate Cynic Gifts

"Your mother is receiving top quality care and attention."

House for free - 'Too much'!

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

Mouse real estate!

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

Don't worry dear, he only bites untrustworthy morgage brokers!

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'Look, they're slowing down.'

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

This is our proposal for your new housing development. We've chosen to call it The Meadows.

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

Affordable housing

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

'It's got all the original features.'

'Trust Me, I am an Estate Agent.'

Stocks fell today on bad economic news that stocks fell today.

Heavily Mortgaged and Mildly Peckish

'We don't think of it as an investment but as a metaphor.'

'We did have a house in your bracket, but we sold it in 1932.'

Affordable Housing Estate Agents - 'It's affordable if you're rich...'

'In return for storing the nuclear waste, we get a big break on the mortgage.'

'I know he didn't pay his bills, but let's get the lien off the coffin.'

Mortgage Broker - 'I can't foresee any problems with your loan, Mr Davis.'

'And the 4th bedroom?'

"Did I mention it was close to transport?"

Bank Owned