Property Critic Gifts

Care Home. Don't Care Home.

"You want a new house? Here's one we can afford."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Look, son, real estate."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Home Sweet Second Home.

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

Town Planning Department

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

'This is close enough.'

"We'll always hate Paris."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

House hunting is cruel.

Dog Realtor

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

Shoe house.

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'