Property Exaggeration Fan Pillows

An exaggeration of estate agents

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Early accounting scandals.

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

Fish Story

Well, no wonder the natives are restless. They're worshipping an espresso machine!

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'It was designed for people who don't want any visitors.'

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."

'Darling! This isn't a property programme at all! It's the view from our living room window..'

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

'Oh, I would say it was at least twice that size, and it had fangs and horns too...'

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

"Okay. It's a balloon. Get over it."

Used car salesman to man: 'And this one was driven by a little old lady ...er ...uh ... with 36 grandchildren.'

"Hard work, determination, success!"

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."

"It strikes me you're making a deal more fuss over this than it calls for, Dan'l."

"I said it was INSPIRED by a true story."

'I can tell this fish story just fine by myself, man's best friend.'

'See? — that's the big one I got away from.'

'Move back!'