Property Exaggeration Fan Prints

An exaggeration of estate agents

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Early accounting scandals.

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

Well, no wonder the natives are restless. They're worshipping an espresso machine!

"Come check this out, Doris! I think our mouse trap finally caught a mouse!"

Fish Story

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'It was designed for people who don't want any visitors.'

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

'Darling! This isn't a property programme at all! It's the view from our living room window..'

'Oh, I would say it was at least twice that size, and it had fangs and horns too...'

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

"Okay. It's a balloon. Get over it."

Used car salesman to man: 'And this one was driven by a little old lady ...er ...uh ... with 36 grandchildren.'

"Hard work, determination, success!"

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."

"It strikes me you're making a deal more fuss over this than it calls for, Dan'l."

'I can tell this fish story just fine by myself, man's best friend.'

"I said it was INSPIRED by a true story."

'Move back!'

'See? — that's the big one I got away from.'