Property Conjurer T-Shirts

Magician with a pound sign above a 'SOLD' house

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Bright Idea

A woman drawing birds makes them fly around the room.

Ghostbasters 3

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

The Thinker and Creative Thinker.

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

'Sir, we have a problem. The attorney section is totally overcrowded!' (demon to Satan)

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

Advertising Agency - "...Fooling some of the people all of the time is damn hard work."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

"Anyone having a 'Eureka!' moment?"

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.

"Eye of newt, wing of bat, blah blah blah, here's one I made earlier."

Indian executive playing flute to a business chart like a snake charmer.

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.

Whosoever draweth out the publishing, recording, and distribution contracts from the stone shall forever be acknowledged as the Duke of Earl, and nothing can stop him.

'How will my turkey turn out his year?'

Balancing Act.

"Don't write it!"

I'm not 100% sure it will work...

"For my next trick I will turn this ordinary muffin into a delicious cupcake."

Magician producing the Euro

fortune teller and credit card.

"... And how long have you had this irrational fear that you'll never get a mortgage?"

'So, does anyone else have a problem with the way I run this company?'