Proofreader Gifts

Corrective Lens

"What can I say? I was an English major."

Someone who knows apostrophes

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

Woman to co-worker: 'Some people want to abolish apostrophes ? but I'm very possessive about them.'

Quality Control

"You tend to overuse the exclamation point."

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

What Editors Do

The Adventures of Grammar Man

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

'Did you run them through the spell-check?' (god, moses and the ten commandments)

'It was a typo - I wrote, 'It was the best of the worst of times!''

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

'I can't take all the credit... I used spell-check.'

'Do it write the first time.'

Signs read: Beleive/'I' before 'E' except after 'c'.

God is in the detales (details)

"Spelling and punctuation is not a fad."

"Spelling and punctuation is not a fad!"

I have taken over Sarahs body!

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

'You need to stop worrying so much about making a spelling mistake, Dear...you're becoming a typochondriac!'

Writer begging on street corner.

'Sorry, but we have no need for a proof reader.'

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

"And remember–no more subjunctives where the correct mood is indicative."

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

"It's spelled A-N-G-E-L-S. Why?"

sign on wall: "ABC Profreading Company"

'I lost my job as a proof-reader because I some words out.'