Proofreader Gifts

Corrective Lens

"What can I say? I was an English major."

Someone who knows apostrophes

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

Quality Control

Woman to co-worker: 'Some people want to abolish apostrophes ? but I'm very possessive about them.'

What Editors Do

"You tend to overuse the exclamation point."

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

The Adventures of Grammar Man

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'A-ha, They spelled 'Kloprinol' with a 'c''

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

'Did you run them through the spell-check?' (god, moses and the ten commandments)

'It was a typo - I wrote, 'It was the best of the worst of times!''

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

'I can't take all the credit... I used spell-check.'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

Signs read: Beleive/'I' before 'E' except after 'c'.

"Spelling and punctuation is not a fad."

The poetry repair shop

'Do it write the first time.'

God is in the detales (details)

"Spelling and punctuation is not a fad!"

'You need to stop worrying so much about making a spelling mistake, Dear...you're becoming a typochondriac!'

Writer begging on street corner.

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

'Sorry, but we have no need for a proof reader.'

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

'Typos, this article of your has too many errors in it.'

Megcorp Pharmaceuticals. New! Safe and Defective! Tell marketing to stop relying on spell-check.

'Colourful scenes in central London as the annual pedants' pride parade makes it way into Hyde park.'

'By, golly, Gronsky, you're right, it does say 'melon'...well it should say 'apprehend a felon!'