Promotion Ponderer Gifts

'We don't like anyone to get too comfortable in a new role.'

"The good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team!...and the bad news? You are the team!"

"They had to make that it guy the CEO. He won't reveal the Master Password."

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

Lonely at the top, OK, but not looney.

'Contested elections for managing partner are always going to cause a bit of upset.'

Madame Yompe, Palm Reader...Special! Both palms read for the price of one.

"Good news, Spreadbury - you're to become the executive plaything."

'If he misses this putt I'll never promote him.'

'We take pride in the fact that all of our managers are recruited directly from our front-line office staff!'

"I was promoted from customer care executive to senior master customer care executive. That means 12 more letters."

"Firing is too good for you, Mike. I'm going to give you MY job instead!"

"The ladder comes in due time, but for now, be satisfied with the corporate step stool."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'You don't get a raise with this promotion, but you do get to call your work area a 'work station' instead of a 'cubicle.''

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.