Promotion Ponderers Gifts

'Whatever you do, don't tell them you think you're ready to take on more responsibility.'

'Ralph Johnson's worked at charburger for far less time than you, and already he's Fries Captain.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

"Firing is too good for you, Mike. I'm going to give you MY job instead!"

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

'Contested elections for managing partner are always going to cause a bit of upset.'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

'And the recruiter from IBM - did you also tell him that at college you mostly sat on a rock by the sea, trying to find yourself?'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"Woah - random!"

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

"The ladder comes in due time, but for now, be satisfied with the corporate step stool."

'If you knew that economics was the 'dismal science,' why did you become an economist?'

'The meaning of life?.. You want the next mountain along.'