Programming Pro Gifts

"He's not much of a hunter, but he's great with computers."

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

"I always feel refreshed after scrubbing a hard drive."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

The Computer Bore

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Out and In.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"National security adviser"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

Evolution.

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."