Planning Pro Gifts

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"We only got six days of funding."

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

Pipe Dream.

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

"Three more years of high school."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

Worry tank

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

God's Subcontractors

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'