Programmatic Ponderer Gifts

"No need to be alarmed. It's just the new head of programmatic advertising."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"What was I thinking?!"

"Needs to get a life"

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Max Weber

The Politics of Food.

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

"Don't mention Pat Buchanan, pro or con."

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

Caption Contest TK

A man holding a pro-life sign stands above a group of beaten people who are pro choice.

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"Congratulations you've escaped. Now what?"