Profile Skeptics Gifts

On the website you said you were 32!

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"God works in mysterious ways."

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Cupid misses his shot.

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'Typical man...too stubborn to stop and ask for directions.'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

"This'll show the Theology Department."

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Yes, but.

'OK, now you've seen it...'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

"It's from a girl in my class. Should I be thinking about a prenup?"

When did this date go down the toilet? I assumed when you went to the men's room that you dropped it there.

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

'No wonder the divorce rate is so high!'

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

Second Thoughts Wedding