Profile Exploration Gifts

Computer Dating Service: Be Careful What You Wish For!

"He gets easily abstracted."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

'I don't know who I am. I have a donor heart, a donor kidney, a donor liver,a donor cornea, a donor lung...'

"You're either the olive or the Martini."

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

"You knew I was straight when you married me."

"The women on these dating sites don't seem to believe I'm a prince."

"I'm a male, yet I hatch the eggs. I'm a bird, yet I don't fly...I swim like a fish. Despite my appearance, my life is anything but black and white."

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'Tell me your name and I'll tell you who you are!'

Cybervegan Caf

Ewe Tube A Ewe checking out the sheep world's version of You Tube.

Psychology 101

Duelling personalities.

'I've been married 4 times...do you think my resistance is down?'

The competition's customer vs our customer.

'Which one shall I get?'

Some Friends From Work

"Hahaha! What's wrong Dorky Nerdmire? That's your name isn't it?"

'I see from your profile that you are 5ft 3, have blond hair and like red wine.'

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

Mixed Race Families.

Your online profile didn't say you were a bottom feeder.

"Have you ever noticed that all our teachers fit the FBI's terrorist profile?"

'It was bad enough that he was raised by apes, but then I found out that he swings both ways'

'Sure I like him but I've only met him in real life. I have no idea what his online profiles are like.'

Foreigners in Paris - Foreigners staring at one another believing the other to be Parisian

"I've lost touch with my roots, so I'm flying to Omaha but I'll be back Monday."

'I usually say what I think.'. . .'I usually think what I say.'

"You're under arrest for consumer Freud."