Profiles Gifts

Ernie, your online dating profile says you're tall, athletic and wealthy. this is the biggest joke I've ever seen! Good point, Frank. I need to add something about my great sense of humor!

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

"The women on these dating sites don't seem to believe I'm a prince."

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'On the internet, nobody knows you're a monkey.'

Your online profile only lists positive things about you. Of course, a "profile" only shows one side of a person.

'He was taller online!'

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

'I often commit the sin of pride, Reverend. I imagine myself being googled.'

'I saw your profile on Linksin.'

"I'm internet dating. I'm looking for someone I can morph and tweak."

'You look exactly like your website.'

'The internet brings everyone closer.'

Your online profile didn't say you were a bottom feeder.

"Your Facebook page said nothing about you being a dung beetle!"

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

'Sure I like him but I've only met him in real life. I have no idea what his online profiles are like.'

"Have you ever noticed that all our teachers fit the FBI's terrorist profile?"

"You're under arrest for consumer Freud."

"Right now? I'm putting my reputation on line."

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."

"I keep changing my profile picture."

"What should I use for our scream name?"

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"Be honest, do you think it's my profile pic holding me back?"

"We did everything we could, but you still look like a geek on your dating profile."

'And number five said in his profile that he was 6'2' and he turned out to be 5'7'.'

'I'm tagging some unflattering photos of friends, so my tagged photos don't look quite so bad.'

"It's nothing personal. I just enjoyed your online presence better."

'So tell me about yourself. Where do you blog?'

Computer Dating Service: Be Careful What You Wish For!