Profile Enthusiast Gifts

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

The devil you know and his plus one

Soldier armed with a pen.

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

"Yes, you were born into the era of passwords and user-names. . . why do you ask, Mycat_2014?"

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

The Devil's in the detail!

Freedom of the press

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'Here's the good news. 'Happy camper' and 'are we having fun yet' have been added to the official list of banned cliches.'

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

Tom Cruise

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

"The first rule of miming is you don't talk about miming."

Censorship.

"It's this time of day when I feel most lengthened."

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

Bad Career Move

Censorship is killing free society.

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

'It's a demonstration by people who disapprove of what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it.'