Profile Explorer Gifts

'And number five said in his profile that he was 6'2' and he turned out to be 5'7'.'

Your online profile didn't say you were a bottom feeder.

'So tell me about yourself. Where do you blog?'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"He gets easily abstracted."

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

"I'm tired of being openly gay.I'm seriously considering going back in to the closet."

Guys looks in the mirror and sees himself as a prisoner.

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

'I'm Anna Nicole Smith. But not THE Anna Nicole Smith!'

"I was born into the wrong color. I'm not pink, Oh, doc, I'm so depressed..."

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"

Let's try some word disassociation

Columbus discovers ... his feminine side.

"You're either the olive or the Martini."

“This daily metamorphosis never fails to amaze me. Around the house, I’m a perfect idiot. I come to court, futon a black robe, and, by God, I’m it!”

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.