Profile Analyzer Gifts

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"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"He gets easily abstracted."

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

"You're either the olive or the Martini."

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'One more thing - find out if the new Securities and Exchange Commission head grants group amnesty.'

"Feeling like a skinny person living in a fat person's body is actually quite normal."

Psychology 101

'I've been married 4 times...do you think my resistance is down?'

Some Friends From Work

'Which one shall I get?'

Film critic critics

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"

"Your life's story lacks a protagonist."

Your online profile didn't say you were a bottom feeder.

'Sure I like him but I've only met him in real life. I have no idea what his online profiles are like.'

"Would you describe yourself as a bold character?"

"You're under arrest for consumer Freud."

European Crisis management.

If you meet someone online who says he's a 22 year old software millionaire who looks like Harry Styles he's really unemployed, 45 and lives with his mother!

"I'm less judgmental now that I've failed at everything in life."

'If I were you I'd spend most of my time trying to be someone else.'

'You can't get by on fluffiness forever!'

'And number five said in his profile that he was 6'2' and he turned out to be 5'7'.'

'I have a strong sense of right and wrong, but I'm hoping to overcome it.'

'I'm tagging some unflattering photos of friends, so my tagged photos don't look quite so bad.'

"I've always felt I was a Taurus trapped in a Libra's body."

'So tell me about yourself. Where do you blog?'

"Dude, loosen up!"

'I'm 50 percent lovable and 50 percent bitch. Don't push it.'

"I operate under the assumption that man is basically good."