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"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

"The women on these dating sites don't seem to believe I'm a prince."

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'On the internet, nobody knows you're a monkey.'

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

'He was taller online!'

"I'm internet dating. I'm looking for someone I can morph and tweak."

'I saw your profile on Linksin.'

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

"Have you ever noticed that all our teachers fit the FBI's terrorist profile?"

'The internet brings everyone closer.'

'You look exactly like your website.'

'Sure I like him but I've only met him in real life. I have no idea what his online profiles are like.'

"You're under arrest for consumer Freud."

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"What should I use for our scream name?"

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."

"I keep changing my profile picture."

"Right now? I'm putting my reputation on line."

"We did everything we could, but you still look like a geek on your dating profile."

"Be honest, do you think it's my profile pic holding me back?"

'I'm tagging some unflattering photos of friends, so my tagged photos don't look quite so bad.'

"It's nothing personal. I just enjoyed your online presence better."

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'So tell me about yourself. Where do you blog?'