Profile Detective Pillows

"The women on these dating sites don't seem to believe I'm a prince."

Online dating tips. Be skeptical when screening potential dates online. In one case, a person prone to boiling over with anger described themself as "bubbly"!

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Barks in code.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

hard-boiled egg...

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'You know too much,'

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

When Engineers Crack.

Dog barking at everything except a burglar.

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

The Philip Marlow family