Criminal Profiler Pillows

"Did he have any known enemies?"

"Hey stupid - come over here.'

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

Our cover is francophile liberals

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

"Paper or plastic?"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

Overcrowding's becoming a real problem in our penal system

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

'We're getting closer - That's a goldfish.'

Ignorance of the Law

Gangster's To-Do List

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

Prisoner Crossing

'We've got a new DNA database...'