
"Did he have any known enemies?"
Show off your admiration with T-shirts that playfully acknowledge the detective skills of criminal profilers. Perfect for casual days and investigative brains.
"Did he have any known enemies?"
"Hey stupid - come over here.'
"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."
"You're either lying or not telling the truth."
"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"
"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."
"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."
'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'
OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!
"Don't editorialize."
Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.
"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"
"Number 2. Step forward please."
'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'
'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'
'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'
Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.
'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'
'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'
The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.
"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."
'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'
'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'
'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'
Our cover is francophile liberals
Overcrowding's becoming a real problem in our penal system
"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."
"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."
"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."
"Paper or plastic?"
"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."
'We're getting closer - That's a goldfish.'
Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.
"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"
Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!
Explore our collection of mugs geared towards criminal profilers—witty, thoughtful, and perfect for their morning coffee ritual.
Find cozy pillows designed for criminal profilers—humorous and stylish accents for their favorite spaces.
Browse our art prints that celebrate the detective profession—unique pieces perfect for adding personality to any workspace.