Profile Detectives T-Shirts

"You DO realise I'm CGI don't you?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

A boy acting suspiciously

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"It seemed like a long timeout."

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

Micro and Macro Department,

Don't forget to read the small print.

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

Devil in the detail

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

Excessive Paperwork

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

When pedants take a break.