Internet Profiles Pillows

"Maybe you should consider revising your dating profile, 'Mr. Multi millionaire, of Guildford'."

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Have you considered vlogging?"

'He's not a Super Influencer, he's a very naughty boy!'

'When I googled myself, and nothing came up, I began to question my own existence!'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

Social Influencers Anonymous.

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'I'm just updating my Facebook profile.'

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

Likes Makes Right

"Hmm....who's this tall drink of water?"

'I often commit the sin of pride, Reverend. I imagine myself being googled.'

'He needs a domain name.'

"And having a gazillion fake fans? That also came from social media, Tommy."

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

'The internet brings everyone closer.'

"I have 1,8000 friends on facebook....and you want a college degree?"

Your online profile didn't say you were a bottom feeder.

"Your Facebook page said nothing about you being a dung beetle!"

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"

Internet replacing postal service

"What should I use for our scream name?"

"What should I use for our scream name?"

INSTAGRAM FEEDS MATTER

Kiss me quik dating service

'I don't think it's a good idea to put the fact that though you've been indicted seven times, but you've only been convicted twice on your 'About' page.'

'Talk about snooty. She was listed as 'most likely to be googled' in the class yearbook.'

'I'm tagging some unflattering photos of friends, so my tagged photos don't look quite so bad.'

"I post therefore I am."

'My blog has its own blog.'

'Your dating profile was right. You really do know how to show a girl a good time.'

"He looked a lot bigger online."

"Gee, you didn't mention your wart in your personal."