Internet Profiles Gifts

"Maybe you should consider revising your dating profile, 'Mr. Multi millionaire, of Guildford'."

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

Social Influencers Anonymous.

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

Likes Makes Right

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"

'The internet brings everyone closer.'

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

"And having a gazillion fake fans? That also came from social media, Tommy."

'He needs a domain name.'

Internet replacing postal service

"What should I use for our scream name?"

"What should I use for our scream name?"

Kiss me quik dating service

'I'm tagging some unflattering photos of friends, so my tagged photos don't look quite so bad.'

'I don't think it's a good idea to put the fact that though you've been indicted seven times, but you've only been convicted twice on your 'About' page.'

'Talk about snooty. She was listed as 'most likely to be googled' in the class yearbook.'

"I post therefore I am."

"Do you know how many followers I've got?"

'My blog has its own blog.'

"He looked a lot bigger online."

'Your dating profile was right. You really do know how to show a girl a good time.'

"Gee, you didn't mention your wart in your personal."