Online Profile Creation Gifts

"What should I use for our scream name?"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

Social Influencers Anonymous.

'On the internet, nobody knows you're a monkey.'

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

Likes Makes Right

'The internet brings everyone closer.'

Types of online-ing

"And having a gazillion fake fans? That also came from social media, Tommy."

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"

"I keep changing my profile picture."

'Book of Usernames' / 'Book of Baby Names'.

"What should I use for our scream name?"

'It seems we've both been a bit imaginative in creating our online profiles.'

'Next comes the cool part. Grab the clothes pegs. We're going online.'

'I'm tagging some unflattering photos of friends, so my tagged photos don't look quite so bad.'

'Talk about snooty. She was listed as 'most likely to be googled' in the class yearbook.'

"Do you know how many followers I've got?"

'My blog has its own blog.'

'So tell me about yourself. Where do you blog?'