Online Persona Shaper Gifts

"I keep changing my profile picture."

"He gets easily abstracted."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

My Spam Sketchbook

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

"You're either the olive or the Martini."

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

'Something that'll get me googled,'

Motorway of the Self

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

Social Influencers Anonymous.

Tonight's Debate. Nature versus Nurture. You believe in heredity over environment? Yep --- I was just born that way.

Likes Makes Right

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

'I've been married 4 times...do you think my resistance is down?'

Psychology 101

'Which one shall I get?'

Some Friends From Work

"Of course I have an imaginary alter-ego. You'll find it on Facebook."

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

"Your Facebook page said nothing about you being a dung beetle!"

Types of online-ing

Personality Test - No Result

"You're under arrest for consumer Freud."

'I'm making sure my self-inflated Wikipedia entry corresponds to my self-inflated Facebook profile.'

'If I were you I'd spend most of my time trying to be someone else.'

'You can't get by on fluffiness forever!'

"I'm less judgmental now that I've failed at everything in life."

INSTAGRAM FEEDS MATTER

Psychiatric Clinic. It's a very strange case of multiple personalities. He keeps trying to photobomb his own selfies.

"What should I use for our scream name?"

"I contain multitudes, but usually the reasonable lady shows up, the fun one drinks too much, and the angry one takes the train home."

"Well, if you can't accept me as I really am, have you seen my Facebook page?"

'Talk about snooty. She was listed as 'most likely to be googled' in the class yearbook.'