Online Persona Pillows

'Talk about snooty. She was listed as 'most likely to be googled' in the class yearbook.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

'Something that'll get me googled,'

"Have you considered vlogging?"

'He's not a Super Influencer, he's a very naughty boy!'

'When I googled myself, and nothing came up, I began to question my own existence!'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

Social Influencers Anonymous.

Closet.

Likes Makes Right

'I'm just updating my Facebook profile.'

'I often commit the sin of pride, Reverend. I imagine myself being googled.'

"Of course I have an imaginary alter-ego. You'll find it on Facebook."

"I have 1,8000 friends on facebook....and you want a college degree?"

Types of online-ing

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

"And having a gazillion fake fans? That also came from social media, Tommy."

'I'm making sure my self-inflated Wikipedia entry corresponds to my self-inflated Facebook profile.'

"You're under arrest for consumer Freud."

"Well, if you can't accept me as I really am, have you seen my Facebook page?"

Public Speaking Shoes

"I keep changing my profile picture."

"What should I use for our scream name?"

INSTAGRAM FEEDS MATTER

"I post therefore I am."

"Do you know how many followers I've got?"

"He used most of his personality on the Internet. I get what's leftover."

"This isn't going to look good on my website."

'My blog has its own blog.'

'According to your social network activities, you're a man-mad, boozy little hussy. You can start working here tomorrow.'

'You look exactly like your tweets.'

'I see by Facebook that you hate burned toast.'

"Another math fight on my chat server. What am I doing wrong?"

Bloggers Anonymous.