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'Talk about snooty. She was listed as 'most likely to be googled' in the class yearbook.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

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Likes Makes Right

"Of course I have an imaginary alter-ego. You'll find it on Facebook."

Types of online-ing

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

"And having a gazillion fake fans? That also came from social media, Tommy."

"You're under arrest for consumer Freud."

"What should I use for our scream name?"

"Well, if you can't accept me as I really am, have you seen my Facebook page?"

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"I keep changing my profile picture."

'You look exactly like your tweets.'

'According to your social network activities, you're a man-mad, boozy little hussy. You can start working here tomorrow.'

"This isn't going to look good on my website."

"I post therefore I am."

"Do you know how many followers I've got?"

"Another math fight on my chat server. What am I doing wrong?"

'My blog has its own blog.'

"He used most of his personality on the Internet. I get what's leftover."

'My social network friends would never find me. They'd look for a 20 years old, slim and sporty guy with curly hair.'