Online Persona Expert Pillows

"....and please make my life as interesting as I make it look in Facebook."

"He gets easily abstracted."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

"You're either the olive or the Martini."

Closet.

Social Influencers Anonymous.

Psychology 101

Likes Makes Right

'I've been married 4 times...do you think my resistance is down?'

Some Friends From Work

'Which one shall I get?'

"Of course I have an imaginary alter-ego. You'll find it on Facebook."

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

Types of online-ing

"You're under arrest for consumer Freud."

'You can't get by on fluffiness forever!'

"I'm less judgmental now that I've failed at everything in life."

"I keep changing my profile picture."

Public Speaking Shoes

"Well, if you can't accept me as I really am, have you seen my Facebook page?"

Home/work masks.

'Talk about snooty. She was listed as 'most likely to be googled' in the class yearbook.'

'According to your social network activities, you're a man-mad, boozy little hussy. You can start working here tomorrow.'

"Do you know how many followers I've got?"

"I've always felt I was a Taurus trapped in a Libra's body."

'You look exactly like your tweets.'

"I post therefore I am."

'I'm 50 percent lovable and 50 percent bitch. Don't push it.'

"Dude, loosen up!"