Online Personality Pillows

"I considered becoming a vegan but I'm trying to make my social media profile a little less annoying."

"Do you know how many followers I've got?"

Likes Makes Right

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

Social Influencers Anonymous.

INSTAGRAM FEEDS MATTER

"I post therefore I am."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

Working from home to-do list.

"Have you considered vlogging?"

I'm ego surfing right now, looking up my name on different search engines.

Computer Head

'He's not a Super Influencer, he's a very naughty boy!'

'When I googled myself, and nothing came up, I began to question my own existence!'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

'I'm just updating my Facebook profile.'

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

Man stuck on desert island with WiFi router.

Whenever I'm feeling lonely, I just turn off my ad blocker.

'I often commit the sin of pride, Reverend. I imagine myself being googled.'

Hiding From Social Media

"I would like some facebook friends for Christmas."

Weapons of Mass Comparison

"Your Facebook page said nothing about you being a dung beetle!"

"I have 1,8000 friends on facebook....and you want a college degree?"

"And having a gazillion fake fans? That also came from social media, Tommy."

'It appears your son has a tweeting disorder'

"What should I use for our scream name?"

"I keep changing my profile picture."

"Well, if you can't accept me as I really am, have you seen my Facebook page?"

"What should I use for our scream name?"

You can't smell an online profile...