Professor Ponderer Gifts

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

Shakespeare was bisexual

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

Afraid of change - leave it here.

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'...and that is my philosophy.'

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

Ivan Turgenev

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"